Healing Resource Connection

I am overdue to write this because of the death of a dear friend in the past few weeks. I had not been to my home state of Kansas for 4.5 years due to the pandemic and my own health issues of post-concussion syndrome and then major back problems. For years I have
always tried to get home at least twice a year because it was how I would get emotionally and spiritually recharged. There is something for me about seeing lifelong family and friends that renews me and brings me back to my roots. Driving hundreds of miles throughout the prairie
between towns large and small brings a sense of peace and oneness with nature and with the land. I LOVE the ever-changing weather, the wide openness of the plains, and the blue expanse of sky. I am HOME!

It has been especially difficult since I was ill and we could not travel. I withdrew into myself and isolated much of the time during those 2.5 years. So this trip was my HOMECOMING!

I first made my usual stop at the Grant Inn, where I have stayed for more years than I can count in Topeka. I was treated to a luscious Greek dinner in one of my favorite towns, Lawrence where I have always thought I would want to live if I ever moved back to Kansas for part of the
year.

I also spent time with my dear guru friend in Topeka (Dianne Lawson). The rain had started coming down hard, and I GOT LOST trying to get out of Topeka on the way to my most excellent adventure on Highway 24, a two-lane road that would eventually take me to my hometown. I traveled through the tiny town where my cousin Chris’s son had been tragically
killed when bleachers fell many years ago.

I finally arrived in St. Mary’s, a beautiful little town, to meet my classmate Donna Davis who has become a close friend via Facebook, and her vivacious, delightful grandson. We went on to Belvue to the quaint turquoise bakery you see in the pictures. Loretta’s Artisanal Bakery is
owned and operated by a gentle young widow and mother of 8 who proudly displays her husband’s incredible artwork throughout. The food was great too!

I then had the experience from HECK in a motel I stayed in. Donna rescued me EARLY the next morning and introduced me to another lovely homey country house restaurant. Then on to Manhattan via Highway 24 and Walmart to see my young cousin, followed by brunch with the Mick and Faye Stevenson clan. Together we visited St. Patrick’s Cemetery where Uncle Mick and Aunt Faye are buried. I was heartsick because I did not get to see Aunt Faye as she died during Covid but not from Covid. This bunch will meet me even on short notice! The Stevenson clan is that way! Check out the pictures!

I got to visit with another cousin Pat and her daughter Jen in Riley, and we shared some miracle stories in our family. I then drove through those wide expanses of sky and prairie to my hometown, where you can
see the towering post-rock of St. John’s Catholic Church and the Courthouse long before you arrive in town. I stopped to see my parents first, as I always do at the cemetery, and I was comforted. I unexpectedly started crying as I spoke softly with my folks.
I then joined my friend of 65+ years for an overnight! We were awake much of the night for various reasons, just like a slumber party of other times. What a way to get caught up!

We made a “surprise” visit to Lorna Jones, the mother of our classmate Marcia Jones. We were greeted with “I’ve been waiting for you,” followed by “Sheila!” who this 99-year-old sharp as tack woman had not seen in how many years?! Check out the pic!

We then met with several of our classmates, one who drove 2 hours to be there and is a miracle cancer survivor. Our class always tries to get together with whoever comes from out of state. I then had to boogie down the road 2.5 hours to meet two more wonderful classmates. This
contact with my fellow classmates through the years has been SO POSITIVE and more meaningful for me because in high school, I had such low self-esteem. I have gradually realized it was more about me, and being with my classmates helped heal this. (Check pics).

I then got to be with my oldest friend and her husband. As always, we had the best time, laughing, reminiscing, and getting caught up. I also saw my friend Cindy Entriken, now an author! (Check out pic and website)! I then took the two-lane back roads to Abilene to see my
cousin Chris. She and her husband operate the beautifully restored Victorian Engle House Bed and Breakfast. Check out the picture, and THEN, check it out in person! A great experience!

I then drove through hill and dale, rolling hills, and fading autumn to make it to the airport on time, my spirit filled with the richness of my home state, family, and friends. Instead of being tired or worn out, I felt RENEWED AND REGENERATED, READY TO RETURN HOME
TO ARIZONA, MY OTHER HOME STATE!

BLESSINGS!

Carolyn

Going home for the first time in 3+ years!

My guru friend of 45 years who gives great advice and did again — get writing and publishing that book!

Dinner at this fab restaurant in Lawrence, KS, with my beloved cousins Jerry and Janet Grant and son Jason, “my guy” as a child.

Oldie, but goodie of the Grants.

On to visit with classmate Donna Davis and her darling brilliant grandson down Highway 24!

Feasting with Donna at this darling bakery.

Owner of this precious bakery.

On to Manhattan to visit with the Mick and Faye Stevenson clan and at their gravesite. They were like my second parents.

Continuing on Highway 24 to my hometown of Beloit, KS. First stop to visit with my beloved parents, each whom died in November, 16 years apart. 25 years since Dad died, and 9 years since we lost Mom.

Scenes from Beloit

Scenes from Beloit

Beloit Courthouse built of native post rock!

“Surprise” visit with this lovely, feisty 99-year-old Facebook friend, Lorna Jones and Mom of classmate, by school friend Sheila Bruce Pfeiffer and myself. I have known Lorna since I was age 6!

Members of the class of ’67 who always try to get together whenever we come from out of state! Our class reunion have been a Godsend for me in learning no one else thought I was a dork and in reconnecting throughout the years!

Another fab get together with more classmates, Phyllis Remley Guinn and Diana from Wendell at Braum’s in Wichita. YUM!

Visit with cousin Pat Tieking and her daughter Jennifer stop on Highway 24.

Cousin Laura and Carolyn

Engle House Bed and Breakfast Abilene, KS.

Cindy Entriken, Author.

Kansas prairie

End of the journey after driving 575 miles in 5 days!

In honor of Veteran’s Day November 11, 2022.

Below are pictures from my family of those who have served. Six generations.

My dad Corporal JW Walters USMC World War II South Pacific.

Staff Sergeant Donald Lewis USAF, my husband.

John Stevenson Korean War. Scene from his funeral with a song written by grandson Case Stevenson in his honor.

Sergeant George H. Stevenson US Army WW I France.

George J. Stevenson, US Army, served at the end of WW II.

Joseph Tieking US Army WW II Europe.

Charles F. Stevenson US Army Europe peacetime.

Wishing everyone a fun & safe Halloween!

From our House to your House!

From Bella Boo!

From Carolyn!

This is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Most if not all of us have been affected by breast cancer in some way–our moms, wives, children, siblings, friends, co-workers, ourselves, and yes, men we know.

In my own family, my godfather, Uncle Jack, had breast cancer in his 70’s!  He was the first known one in our family to go through breast cancer and treatment.  The good news is that he was successful and had no recurrence the rest of his life!

Uncle Jack’s first wife had breast cancer that had spread before it was caught and was aggressive.  Amazingly, she lived several years with it.  I secretly was scared that their only daughter Carla might be diagnosed with breast cancer at some point. At age 48, Carla was diagnosed with the same kind of aggressive cancer that her Mother had.  Her courageous story is shared below.

In Remembrance: Carla Ann Stevenson Drescher 

I honor Carla who would have been 63 tomorrow on 10/20.   I knew Carla since her birth.  Her family and mine were very close and Dad, Mom, my brother, and I often visited with Uncle Jack, Aunt Gini, Mike, Gary, and Carla. Although I was 9 years older than Carla, we were close, even when we might not be in contact for months or years at times.  

Like me, Carla had gotten her Master’s in Social Work as did her daughter Lindsey.  I was able to tell her we got the social work gene from our maternal grandmother Elizabeth who was always helping and serving others. When Carla was about 30, she became a devout Catholic, the religion of our grandmother Elizabeth. Carla often said to me that she wished she had known Grandma better. 

When Carla was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, she chose to have a double mastectomy, followed by extensive chemotherapy. She once told me she never missed a day of work while going through chemo, even though her job was 70 miles away!  

Carla did really well for 11 years and with her family, opened an incredible home for foster children aging out of the foster care system.  A former home for Catholic nuns was purchased and converted for this dream of Carla’s.  Carla spearheaded getting funding, supplies, and whatever was needed for this incredible program!

During this time, when I saw Carla on one visit, she was very fatigued and having increased pain.  I had been working in oncology and hospice for several years, and I was concerned about her symptoms.  I just urged her to get a check-up, which she did.  It was found her cancer had returned and spread; she quietly went through treatment again, not letting many know.  She was told she would have 8-10 years to live. 

However, 8 months later, Carla was suddenly hospitalized.  It was found the cancer had returned in full force.  She was told she might have only a few weeks/month to live. How hard this must have been!  Carla still had so much life to live as a wife, mother, “Nina” to her 4 grandchildren, sister, friend, social worker, and all who loved her!

I flew home to see her x2 during this time.  Carla was facing her fate head-on, even though she was scared.  She was able to set goals for herself which, along with her faith, her will, and her true grit, helped her live way past a month!  She celebrated her 60th birthday with a blowout party, made it through Thanksgiving with her family, and almost made it to Christmas, which would have been “the cherry on top of the icing” for her!   She died peacefully, surrounded by her family, the morning sunlight streaming through the windows, on December 15th.  

I really sense that Carla watches over us and guides us, is with her family who has gone before us, and will be there to greet us with ABSOLUTE JOY!  

Check out Carla’s life here through pictures!

Philip, Carla, son Brian, and Laura.

Carla with her brothers Mike and Gary.

Carla and her husband Philip.

Carla’s 4 out of 5 grandkids.

Carla

Carla, her daughter, daughter-in-law, mother-in-law, and grandkids.

Carla on her 60th birthday.

Carla, her daughter Lindsey, Laura, girl grandkids, and her bestie Sarah.

Carla in champion band.

Carla and her whole family.

Carla with Dad Jack and brothers Mike and Gary.

Carla in a prayer shawl with her son Bryan and her grandson.

Carla age 5 listening to uncle Chuck and cousin Carolyn entertaining at a family reunion.

Carla Ann Stevenson Drescher 

Carla would have wanted me to share resources for helping others with cancer, and those will be featured later this week! 

 

Blessings, 

Carolyn Q

It’s been a LONG two years in recovery from health issues. Now AT LAST healing in my favorite season of AUTUMN, my spiritual home, Cathedral Rock, and with my earthy and spiritual, bestie Janie!

Absolute JOY with my Bestie, Janie on our first fall get-together post-Covid!

My spiritual home, Cathedral Rock, in Sedona!

AHHH peace at last as the base of Cathedral Rock

Pillows of Afghan made by my Mother!

The absolute BEAUTY of Autumn, my FAVORITE SEASON!

August 30th is National Grief Awareness Day. It has great personal meaning for me because it was 25 years ago this past weekend that I found out my Dad was terminally ill with cancer. He chose to tell his kids himself by phone as we could hear the tears in his voice and as his throat caught. I always connect this grief with the tragic death of Princess Diana – finding out about both on almost the same day.

I am going through neck, midback, and lower back pain right now which has been manifesting for at least eight months in various forms. I believe that there is a connection between the grief I have experienced throughout a lifetime for many different kinds of loss and the all-consuming pain in my back. And yet, I also believe this back pain provides me with the opportunity to help heal the pain and trauma of these many kinds of loss physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. For this, I am grateful.

Love of Daddy & Carolyn

Carolyn & Bella bringing comfort to each other in illness

Nature help heals our wounds

The amazing unconstitutional love of a grandmother and her granddaughter who she adopted. Suz & Jazz

Today I remember and honor Mothers in all forms. I especially honor the history of my own precious mother figures thru these photos, each of who influences me to this day. Who do YOU remember on this Mother’s Day?!

Out of the blue at 5 pm on Friday 3/18, 2022, I received a Facebook post about the “Graduation Party Celebration for Rev. Keith A. Gorley.”  At first, I thought it was an announcement related to his autobiography which had been accepted for publication earlier last year.  But NO!  It was instead the announcement of celebrating Keith’s life.  Keith had died on 2/25/22 from cancer.  

I was DEVASTATED!  HOW COULD THIS BE?  OUR DEAR FRIEND KEITH?!  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!  WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?!  I yelled out loud, frightening our rescue Bella who had never heard Mommy’s gut-wrenching cry before.  

I was finally able to read the wonderful story of Keith’s life written by his children Karmay and Jason.  But the tears remained STUCK, while the stomach churned!  I just let myself grieve all night, and for the next several days, going back and forth from the shock of disbelief to the absolute pain of loss and finally to the sweet remembrances of a life intertwined with mine for the past 22 years.  

My memories drifted back to when Keith and I had met in middle age at the Interfaith Theological Seminary of Tucson, along with 7 other students from Tucson and from across the country, in August 2000.  This began the arduous journey for the next two years of us all being in the Seminary together.

Along with this, several of us, including Keith and myself, also pursued our Masters in Theology at the same time through Prescott College, Tucson campus.  All in the midst of working too!  (Keith worked as a probation officer.  I was a social worker in Hospice).

It was so good having small classes for support, challenge, humor, and being pushed out of our comfort zones and with instructors from a variety of backgrounds, experience, expertise, and knowledge, along with doing our practicums in a variety of settings.  We were an INDEPENDENT bunch, calling ourselves The Gandhi’s!  

Our class was ordained together in a touching ceremony that we helped plan at Picture Rocks Retreat Center on April 6, 2002.

Keith continued as a probation officer while at the same time pursuing spiritual interests and his form of ministry. He also became an AVID Tango dancer in these years! (I started my career as a Hospice chaplain).

Donn, my then-fiance, and Keith also had many parallels in their lives.  Both had grown up back East and both had served in the United States Air Force, in addition to lived experiences as African American men.  Don and I wanted Keith in our wedding!  And so in his magnificent purple robe and matching hat, Keith read eloquently from Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” on Marriage, one of our favorite readings. 

Keith stayed with us at times in the following years when he was flying out of Phoenix.  On one such visit, he was on the phone frequently with his new lady love. The next year, Keith asked me to perform the marriage ceremony for Karen, his “lady love,” and him in Flagstaff.  (He told me he had waited a long time for Karen). Keith made all the wedding arrangements, including writing the ceremony.  Below is a brief excerpt from this ceremony:

“Family and friends, we stand here as witnesses to the outer unification of Karen and Keith.  Spiritually, they have always been one in the One Life…  It was love that brought Karen and Keith together, and it is love that will sustain their union.  In the presence of the One Life, Karen and Keith have been joined together.  And so, it is.”

In the past few years, Keith worked avidly on his autobiography, The Life Side of Life.”  It is to be published In the coming months.  (You beat me to it, Keith, getting your book done!  So PROUD OF YOU)

Never could we have imagined that Keith would be gone so early from this life. 

KEITH, WE LOVE YOU, WE MISS YOU BEYOND WORDS, AND KNOW WE WILL SEE YOU AGAIN!  

TILL THEN, May God’s peace be with you and all who love you!  

-Carolyn and Donn

Rev. Keith A. Gorley

Keith in our wedding (far right)

Our graduating Seminary class April 6, 2002. Keith 2nd from right, top row. Carolyn 2nd of right, first row.

Keith’s Graduation Party 3/26/22 Tucson, AZ

This is the extraordinary story of a grandmother and her granddaughter and the unconditional love they have for each other in spite of all the trials and tribulations they have been through to be together.

I first met Grandmother Suz in January 2011 when I was employed in a hospice as a chaplain and bereavement coordinator and Suz RN was Director of Quality Assurance.  We became close after several months when our offices were next to each other. I first met Jazz when she came to our annual Christmas Open House with Suz around age 8. They continued to do this till Covid hit. Jazz would also come to quarterly dinners of staff from the agency where Suz and I first met.  We all loved Jazz just for being Jazz, and as she hung out with adults so much older than her!  

I had known that Jazz had been with Suz since she was a tiny girl but I was not prepared for the story which they shared of the difficult journey which brought them together. Jazz however said she was an “open book” and could handle the telling of this story.

Jazz’ s Dad is the son of Suz. Jazz’s Mom per Suz had tried to be very healthy during her pregnancy with Jazz and Suz, who was working out of state, was present for the baby’s birth. However, when Jazz was 17 months old, Suz suddenly got a call that she needed to come get Jazz because her mother was not able to provide care for her.  

  This began the very difficult, arduous part of the Jazz and Suz journey in dealing with Child Protective Service RE temporary custody of Jazzie.  At first, it was a cooperative situation but then turned unbearable in the final hearing when Jazz was to be placed with Suz. The agency suddenly revealed that a home study for placement of Jazz with Suz had not been done.  Jazz was immediately taken and placed in foster care while Suz had to get to the airport.  Suz’s eyes filled with tears as she told this, and said it was the hardest day she has ever experienced. Suz was finally able to get Jazzie 4 months later but before leaving the foster home, the foster grandmother said she did not want to let Jazzie go.  Jazzie became hysterical as she clung to Suz, and they quickly had to leave.

Such trauma for a baby!  I was incensed having been a foster care/adoption specialist in my early social work career but tried not to totally lose my cool.  This entire experience was traumatizing and should never have happened!  Jazz and Suz did not express anger in this part of their story.  Instead, we were all tearful.

Jazz and Suz came to Arizona to live.  Till Jazz was around age 9, her Mom would come to visit, but this stopped when her mother had other children and had relocated to another state.  Jazz then would have to go see her.  When Jazz turned 13, she decided she wanted to try living with her mother, and Suz, in her wisdom, decided it would have to be tried.  A very hard period began for Jazz in which she experienced many difficulties.  She returned home to be with Suz and was finally able to be adopted.  This was celebrated with an adoption party!  Both Suz and Jazz were tearful through this part of the story, but Jazz said she wanted to share her story so others would know they are not alone and also tell what helped her get through this in the hope it will help others.  

Jazz chose to not have contact with her mother in the past few years.  She expressed her love and forgiveness toward her Mom and showed a maturity some of us never reach our entire lives.

Jazz and Suz then shared what helped them through all their trials.

Their coping skills were and are rooted in their faith.  Jazz said at age 13 she was in a Catholic youth retreat and heard the story of a young person who had also experienced trauma in his life.  

She totally related and said, “Lord, I surrender my heart to you.”  Jazz and Suz also had a very special experience at Chapel of the Holy Cross which provided more healing for both. Jazz lovingly looked at Suz and said, “Nana has always been a nurturer.”

Suz shared two experiences that have helped her with forgiveness in her life.  “You never look into the eyes of someone who God does not love.” 

The other was the story of Corey Ten Boom, a Dutch woman who had been in a concentration camp and witnessed her sister’s death at the hands of a German guard.  Years later this guard, who did not recognize Corey, came up to her after one of her talks, saying he was now a Christian, and asking her to take his hand and forgive him.  Corey per Suz prayed to God that she could not forgive him, but if God would move through her and her hand, He could forgive the man!  And so it was!   So Suz lets God handle what she cannot.

Jazz has set a goal of going into the medical field.  She related that God spoke to her in a dream and told her, “This is right.”  Jazz feels very supported by her faith. 

So this is part of the story of a most remarkable grandmother and granddaughter and their unconditional love!  And as Jazz exclaimed as she threw her arms around Suz,  “Nana, you are my Mom!”  ((Check out their absolute love and joy in their pics)! 

Blessings from me as the tears stream down my face!  So honored and privileged to know Suz and Jazz,  and for letting me share part of their story!  

Carolyn Q.

Carolyn, Jazz, & Suz

Suz & Jazz

Suz & Jazz

Jazz & her Dad

First Communion

18th birthday

Little Jazz

Little Jazz

For the entire month of February, I am featuring the many different faces of love through stories and pictures.  Today I offer an overview of each week through pictures and a brief description of what to look forward to.

Week 1 will repeat an earlier blog that did not get widely posted on the love between our animals and their lives and meaning to us:  My own two doggies who have crossed over; Pepper the Cat and Sue; Fiona and Bethany; and Cathy, Kim, and Shine.  Check out their pictures in today’s blog!)

Week 2 will feature highlights of the love of my parents, Walt and Barb, married on Valentine’s Day. Check out one of my favorite pics of them!

Week 3 will feature the very special story of love between a grandmother and granddaughter, Suzanne and Jazz.  Check out a recent pic of Suz and Jazz today!

Week 4 will feature the love of Hospice mentor Diane Davis Wolfe and her very special Hospice staff, as well as the very special gifts of love in Diane’s personal life.  Check out a pic of Diane and Steve who found love again in middle age!  

And may you find JOY in YOUR OWN SPECIAL STORIES OF LOVE this month!  

Blessings, 

Carolyn

WEEK 1:

January was National Celebration of Life!  We honor all our loved ones, both two-leggeds and four-leggeds.  

Today I honor our four-leggeds who have brought us so much joy and unconditional love!  

For my husband and me, I share our beloved black lab Baron and our first rescue doggie Bo.  

Baron was one of 7 black lab puppies born to Bailey and Shaq (yes short for Shaquille!).  He was a Marley dog from the beginning!  He had to go to 90 days of dog training at 3 months old. He LOVED playing frisbee and sitting out under the stars at nite with his Daddy who still misses him!

Baron and I went to see the Christmas lights every Christmas Eve of his life.  We got to be with him when he was put to sleep at home by Dr. Monica Brown on Memorial Day 2017. 

Our hearts were so broken that Molly, daughter of my BFF Janie, found a rescue that she thought we would be a perfect match for!  And so our BO came to live with us, bonding with Daddy immediately.  Bo was a runner and merrily crossed 6 lanes of traffic one nite with us chasing after him.  His angel totally protected him and he came back to us unscathed!  He did however have PTSD his entire life with us, mainly at nite😪  His favorite activity with me was car rides which were so bonding!  We lost him on March 22, 2021, when he suddenly could not breathe or walk😢. 

Fiona was a beautiful horse of the Carroll Family who only had 5 years on this earth but what a 5 years!  She was feisty, particular about who she liked (both two-leggeds and four-leggeds), and was handily managed and trained by Bethany, her main woman.  She suffered from some health issues (including from two wildfires when all had to evacuate) and crossed the Rainbow Bridge shortly afterward. She still contacts the family from the other side!  

Shine was a very special rescue who was initially given to my friend Cathy Carroll by an RN who could no longer care for her due to her own health issues.  Cathy then gave Shine to her brother-in-law Bob who was terminally ill with cancer.  He made a gift of Shine to his wife Kim, Cathy’s sister.  For the rest of Shine’s life, she provided comfort for Kim before and after Bob’s dying and death, coming into Kim’s life when she needed Shine to help with her grief, and leaving when Kim was strong enough to handle Bob’s death. Shine had multiple health problems when she came to the Carroll family, who helped rehab her.  She also had other health problems at the end, but she maintained a positive disposition throughout, as exhibited by sticking her tongue to the left, letting you know when to rub her neck and belly, rolling in the mud, and loving a horse bath afterward.  The Carrolls were broken-hearted when she was put to sleep after 3 years.  

Our last love bug is Pepper, beloved companion, and kitty of Sue McDaniel.  Pepper was a very loving and gentle cat who had been Sue’s best friend for 14.5 years when she passed away in May 2015. Pepper never destroyed anything and would sit with Sue on their patio, coming inside with Sue when it was time. Sue described how much she still loves and misses Pepper:  “There will never be another Pepper.  She is in my heart always.”



Blessings to each who shared their stories of beloved four-leggeds, and to you in remembering your beloved four leggeds🐶🐴🐱

Carolyn

Our beloved Baron 4/23/2003- Memorial Day 2017

Daddy & Baron playing frisbee

Baron 4/23/2003-5/20-2017

Beloved Bo on 3/22/2021 – His last day with us.

Daddy & Bo on a stroll.

Daddy & Bo

Carolyn & Bo

Mom & Bo adopted 11/12/17

Kim & Shine

Beloved Fiona

Fiona & Bethany Horse Trainer extraordinaire!

Pepper, beloved companion of Sue.

Pepper

Beautiful Shine of the Carroll Family

Next week’s blog will feature highlights of the love of my parents, Walt and Barb, married on Valentine’s Day.

Check out one of my favorite pics of them!